Welcome to Ayiti Cherie

It's a lazy day, it's 30 degrees outside and sunny, some light brazilian samba is playing. I am sitting on a sofa, outside. One of my friends is playing pool with himself, two others are surfing with their laptops. Casanova is playing in the background but nobody really cares.

Today, I woke up late, had room service for breakfast. I will spend the afternoon lazing away before the evening starts. Tonight is jazz night, and I have been asked to sing Hotel California for the hotel guests. I am not on vacation though. This is a well deserved rest from a long week of work.

This week, I spent 2 days out of PAP and I think it has a lot to do with my mood's improvement. I went on a site visit in a place called Deschappelles. (Full photoset can be found here. )This is a partner which I visited before, and truely enjoyed going back there.

The road was, as usual, very folklo. I had a blast taking pictures of the local public transportation and of the guys who get on at mid-flight.

The place is gorgeous. The luscious vegetation is georgeous, the people are more laid back and less agressive then they are in PAP. I was sleeping in a guest house with no running water, but paradoxally, there was a pool in front of the guest house.

When I arrived there a 4PM, I paid a visit to my counterpart, settled down, and had some dinner (local food, of course). At 7PM I went over to Anne's. Anne is a French Canadian teacher who has lived in Haiti for several years. Coincidentally, she knew my father way back when, and is now working for this partner. So we spent 2 evenings in a row having Barbancourt rhum and chatting with our haitian colleagues.

It was great to laugh, and talk about home, and listen to her stories of the field. It was great to feel alive again, to swim in the pool at midnight, to float on my back and gaze at the Haitian night sky, counting the stars and feeling vibrantly alive.

Tomorrow, Naya and I have arranged to go back to the beach. Haiti has some of the most beautiful beaches I've seen.

Too bad the country is a mess... and that it's so unsafe. Last night, two jordanian UN soldiers were killed in an ambush in downtown PAP. The ambush theory is not official yet, but it is a reasonnable one, since the 2 guys were shot right when they got out of their cars.

I'm always sad when violence that I can't understand happens. Deep down, it shatters my faith in man.

P.S. I also uploaded the last pictures I took on my Burundi Field Trip and there are some awesome shots... enjoy !

Full photoset for these last pix of Burundi is here.

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Ups and downs

Yesterday was a bad day. Today was a good day. It was uneventful, but good.

I think my favorite part of today was dinner. It involved a lot of girl talk and male-bashing. (Sorry boys, I know there are some decent men out there, but this is part of my therapy.) This Haitian girl we befriended here was so funny, I laughed so hard, I think I cried. It was like being in Sex & The City, Haitian-style.

Tomorrow, I am going to the field to visit a Hospital where we participate in the treatment of HIV-AIDS patients. I've been there before and will re-assess the project, 6 months later. This should be interesting. It will be nice to be out of PAP for a few days, even though the conditions there are ... rather uncomfortable, to put it mildly.

One of the reasons I'm happy to be going is that I will hopefully get once again a glimpse of the beautiful haitian coast, like I did last time I went in April:

(Click on the picture to access my set of Haitian
pictures from my first trip there 6 months ago.)

So anyway, I'll be gone probably for a few days... hopefully when I get back I'll have more pictures to share.

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Cul de sac

Port au Prince, 14:57

Je m’emmerde. Ca fait des heures que je surfe sur Internet. J’ai téléchargé des chansons, visite tous mes blogues préférés, pris un gros petit déjeuner, parle a une amie sur MSN… et je m’emmerde.

J’en ai marre de cet écran d’ordinateur. Pourtant, c’est ma seule porte de sortie, séquestrée comme je suis dans cet hôtel a 2 étoiles dont je ne peux m’échapper sans encourir les foudres divines des puissances, loin là-bas, aux Etats-Unis.

Pour la première fois depuis 3 mois, j’ai vraiment l’occasion de m’introspecter. Ca me déplaît profondément. Retourner au fond de moi, retrouver le contact avec le vide qui m’habite depuis que mon cœur a été fracasse comme une moule sur un rocher par le seul goéland en qui ma confiance était absolue.

Retrouver mes doutes, ma tristesse, mon absence de certitude. Replonger dans mon état névralgique, névrose de fille au cœur brise, a la carrière insatisfaite, a la solitude épidermique. Pas rigolo, tout ca.

J’imagine que c’est le moment pour moi de prendre le temps de mettre sur papier toutes ces questions qui m’assaillent et que j’ai tues ces derniers mois. J’imagine aussi qu’un bilan s’impose. Dans 2 semaines, je passe quelques jours à Montréal. L’occasion de revoir ma maman, mes amis. L’occasion de me confronter a ma ville natale, que j’identifie depuis 3 mois à l’amour de ma vie, celui qui m’a rejetée en prétextant que c’était pour le mieux. Cette ville dont chaque pierre, chaque rue porte le souvenir de lui, de nous.

Qu’est-ce qui a change en moi depuis le mois d’aout ? Suis-je une femme différente ? Qui rentrera chez ma mère ? Moi, ou une étrangère ? A la vérité, je suis devenue une étrangère des mon retour au Québec en Avril 2005. Partir a l’étranger, c’est un choix de vie. Ca vous change. Ca vous met à part des gens que vous aimez. Ca vous met a part de votre culture d’origine.

Mon nouvel état de célibataire m’a mise face a face avec cette dure réalité : je ne peux plus entrer dans le moule. Je suis irrémédiablement différente. Irrémédiablement solitaire. Irrémédiablement, inéluctablement seule. Une partie de moi savait que la femme que je devenais ne pourrait plus être avec l’homme qu’Il restait.

J’ai faim du monde. J’ai faim d’autres cultures. J’ai faim de découvertes. J’ai faim d’amour. Je ne me suis pas sentie si seule depuis des siècles. Isolée, abandonnée. Comment pourrais-je un jour rencontrer un compagnon de vie, moi qui suis maudite ? Maudite car je ne pourrais jamais me poser. Maudite car je suis incapable de rester chez moi. Maudite car je vais mourir célibataire, aigrie et déprimée. Maudite car aucun homme ne voudra jamais de moi, ne serais-ce qu’a cause de mon appétit vorace pour la vie qui me pousse à explorer, toujours explorer plus.

Pendant un moment, j’ai eu un moment de folie. J’ai perdu toute lucidité et j’ai pense que quelque part sur cette planète, existait un homme dont la faim serait aussi grande, aussi insatiable que la mienne. Mais ou est-il ? Je pensais l’avoir découvert, cache sous le manteau de l’amitié, masque par le temps passe à se découvrir. Mais j’ai été déçue, irrémédiablement, puisqu’il ne m’aime pas. Puisque celle que je suis ne lui a pas suffit.

Cul de sac. Voila le nom de ce post. Je me sens prisonnière. J’en ai marre de mon boulot. J’en ai marre de ma solitude. Mais j’y suis condamnée. Quitter et repartir a zéro ? Toujours cette foutue solitude. Toujours cette foutue impression d’être étrangère, de n’appartenir a rien ni a personne, d’être inadéquate.

Ca fait exactement 435 jours que je fais ce travail. Ca fait exactement 70 jours que je suis célibataire. Ca faisait exactement 1395 jours que nous étions en couple au moment de la rupture. Ca faisait 4068 jours qu’on se connaissait (plus ou moins). J’existe depuis 10819 jours. Je l’ai donc connu pendant 38% de ma vie. J’ai été son amoureuse pendant 13% de ma vie. Le temps dédié à mon emploi actuel représente 4% de mon temps de vie sur terre. Mon temps de souffrance actuel représente 1% de ma vie, et 25% de mon temps au travail. Les statistiques ne mentent pas.

De son cote, il existe depuis 10292 jours. Il donc m’a connu pendant 40% de sa vie, et aimée pendant 14% de sa vie. J’ai été absente pendant 15% de notre temps d’amour (en incluant mon stage de 6 mois). Les statistiques ne mentent pas.

Oui, il est important. Très important. Je ne peux pas me pardonner d’avoir perdu 15% du temps qui nous était alloue. Je ne peux pas lui pardonner d’avoir jeté au rebut 40% de temps d’amitié, de m’avoir force à abandonner 39% du mien.

Pourtant, c’est moi qui lui interdis de me contacter. C’est moi qui maintiens une distance. C’est moi qui maintenant refuse son amitié. Pourquoi ? Parce que ca fait mal. Trop mal. Par ce qu’au-delà des chiffres, il y a les émotions. Au-delà des statistiques, il y a l’amour. Et le mien est encore trop fort, trop grand, trop invincible pour être enferme dans les tiroirs exigus de l’amitié. Je l’aime. Je l’aime. Je l’aime et ca me fait souffrir. Je l’aime et j’ai envie de le crier. Je l’aime et je me sens capable de l’aimer toujours. Je l’aime et mon amour est immortel, il me transporte et me transperce. Je l’aime et il ne m’aime pas. Mon amour est la seule chose qui m’aurait permit de rester. La seule chose qui m’aurait peut-être assouvie. La seule puissance assez extraordinaire pour prendre le dessus pour mon appétit vorace du monde.

Maintenant que mon amour existe malgré moi, malgré ma volonté…. Qu’il me fait souffrir quel que soit ma vie… Qu’il me transporte sans m’apaiser… Qu’il me rend insupportable mon existence de vagabonde… Maintenant que je souffre quel que soit mon pays, mon destin, mon port d’attache… Maintenant que rien ne me satisfait plus…

Qu’est-ce que je vais devenir ?

Port-au-Prince, 15:57. Je pleure et je m'emmerde toujours autant.

About Security

What follows is a string of statements made to me about what security is like here and what I should expect.

"Please maintain a high level of caution. When you arrive in country, please stay close to the Hotel until you can meet with the staff. Please do not walk around town, or even the neighborhood around your hotel."

"Nationality is not an issue. Chances of being kidnapped can be largely diminished by staying out of designated areas of Port au Prince and not meandering around town without caution."

"Visitors these days are confined to hotels at night unless escorted out by a staff member. Even with escort they must return by 10:00 pm. Weekend sorties must be approved. All staff, national and international, are strongly recommended to be home by 11:00. pm."

"Anyone visiting the country must strictly follow the security protocols and procedures without exception as their lives depend upon it."

"It makes no difference what nationality, or economic status, the person may be. People are being kidnapped in high numbers, on a daily basis, all over the capital, and they are local and foreigner, poor and rich."

"While the entire city is a concern, they are definite ‘no-go” areas of the city to be avoided at all cost."

The first thing I did after I got this email was to file for Danger Pay.

The Beaver


My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Africa and Burundi in Pictures

I uploaded some more pictures for you guys. Here are in order....

Some pictures I took on the way back to Bujumbura. Beautiful landscapes of Ethiopia and Uganda from the plane...



Here is the link to the full set of my Flight over Ethiopia and Uganda

----------------------------

Some pictures I took on the field while working. More specifically, this was a picture taken at a local market while hunting for red beans. I eventually found them but the bag broke at the office. Weeks later, we could still see the trail of red beans from my office to the office of the red bean lover who had requested this purchase !



Follow the link to more pictures from the Field Visits.

----------------------------------

Some pictures that reflect the nighlife in Bujumbura, and the weekends at the beach (by Lake Tanganyika). I really had good times in Bujumbura and already miss the lifestyle. This is a picture of the Havannah, a night club I went to regularly. The sign reads "tenue exigee" which can be liberally translated to: CLOTHES REQUIRED !!!! Other such examples are in this set.


Click to see more Fun moments in Buja

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Dancing Burundi

Hi everyone !

I uploaded a movie of various dance presentations I filmed in Burundi. Enjoy.



I'm now in Port-Au-Prince after a grueling travel of 3 days. More to come soon ! I miss you guys !

Lame

I'm lame.

I made a promise to give my loyal readers a beautiful update at the latest 3 days ago, but unfortunately, my schedule, work, the suckiness of the bandwidthe available here and my non-cyber life altogether have greatly interfered.

For this, I apologize.

Unfortunately, I must ask my gentle readers to stay patient. I am travelling tomorrow to Haiti, and will not be able to update (again) until another week.

Lame, lame, lame. On the positive side, it's an indication that I actually have a life.

I love you all. I will shortly upload my hundreds of pictures, movies and stories. Just hang on a little longer.

The Beaver


Thanks Caren, for posting on my guestmap! I'll email you shortly !

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

AWOL once again

Hey Everyone.

I've been back in Buja for several days now, but I'm heading out again to the BUSH.

More updates, pics and even videos when I come back to Bujumbura, which I heard today is referred to as the NY of Central Africa. No comment.

I promise a decent update by the end of next week end, I promise !

P.S. 007 formerly in Congo now in DC is B.A.C.K. - I'm SO glad. I was really missing my 007 fix. Do go visit. It's a healthy addiction !

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

How the Beaver went away and back again

Ok, so I've been rather silent recently.

I have an excuse. I was away travelling to see my family.

So anyway, my last weekend in Buja, we celebrated Naya's Birthday by going to dinner, to a fashion show, and watching some traditionnal dancing.

It also involved clubbing until the wee hours of the morning.

The following wednesday, I was flying on Ethiopian Airways through Addis Ababa to France where I was to meet my family. The plane first stopped in Kigali, though, and I had the chance to take some superb airshots of Rwanda, the land of the 1000 hills.

After a long flight in Business class (I never do this - but then I truely needed to splurge), I got to my aunt's house. I want to take 2 seconds and pay hommage to it because it was the last time I saw the house, and though I didn't live there, I feel like part of my roots have gone with it being sold. So here it is, my home away from home:

The following days were spent catching up with the family and hanging out. On Saturday, I took a road trip with my cousins to go the place where the celebrations were held, in Silly-en-Gouffern (I know, it ressembles "Silly, I'm goofing!" - but what can I say, it's the name of the place.) Along the way, I enjoyed some wonderful french landscapes.

Of course, we also had the inevitable "we're lost and we're late moment". Although my cousins were getting all racked up, I though it was really hilarious.

We finally made it and I had the pleasure of spending a night of partying, eating, and singing with my aunts and uncles, most of whom I had not seen in years. This really did me good to feel the family connection. It was nice to see those familiar faces, and to feel that affection. I like my french family. And of course, there was the cake !

Well, more to come soon, but for now... da da da that's all folks !

Full photoset can be viewed here.

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

10 000 ! - and the low-down on Bujumbura

Last night, my hit counter went over the edge of 10,000 visits !

Thanks everybody.

Ok - about Burundi (I have SOOOO much stuff to do. I should TOTALLY be working right now.)

It's a nice country. I like the Burundians. It's green. Food is good. Potential for partying is exponential compared to Aceh.

When I arrived at the hotel, I settled down in my 2-star bedroom like it was the Ritz-Carlton. What I like best about my room is the view outside on the beautiful flamboyant tree:

We had dinner that night and even had a dancing session. It hit me then that all the Nasi Goreng I fed on in Aceh had taken up residence in my tummy and my hips. So green salad and exercise it is for me. This is getting ridiculous. Looking fabulous will be a nice bonus.

On my second day (a Saturday), my friend/colleague and I went to Club Tanganyika, by the namesake lake - we could see the congolese mountains looming over us.

The week was spent working hard on budget analysises, getting to know the staff and figuring out my surroundings. There were several pleasant dinners at various restaurants, during which I held my word and had salads and green stuff. One of the restaurants that really struck me with gorgeous vegetation and actual wildlife roaming around (only birdies though) was the Flamboyant.

We had another wild night of clubbing this last weekend as it was my friend's birthday. Boy. It's nice to be able to have a bit of fun - at least i'm not going totally wonkers with boredom.

Click here for the entire photoset of pics from Burundi.

In a few days I'll be going to France to attend a family event before I get back to BUJ and work like a madwoman again. This is getting pretty hectic, and it's great. I would not want to be less busy.

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Indonesian Hand on a Burundi Sky

Before I start blogging about Burundi, I wanted to share my last weekend in Banda. I've uploaded all the pics on Flickr - we visited some reconstruction sites and met some orphans. We also saw a boat which was carried into town by the tsunami.

And of course, there are some more beautiful sunrises taken from the top of the guesthouse.


Enjoy the pics of Last weekend in Banda Aceh !

Cheers,

The Beaver

Arrived in the heart of Africa

I made it safely to Bujumbura. Internet connection here is scarce and dreadfully slow, so hang in there ! I'll update soon.

Cheers,

The Beaver

A quickie by the water cooler

Wow. Today I got a quickie by the water cooler.

No. Joking.

There is no water cooler where I work.

And noone to give me a quickie. Or a cookie. Or a hicky. Or a key. Or anything that rhymes with quickie, for that matter.

I have never had a quickie by the water cooler or by anyother work located item, so why am i even talking about that?

Oh - I get it. I must be crazy.

Anyways, I got the next best thing : I got back to Jakarta, and tomorrow I'm off to (successively in the next 48 hours) Dubai, Nairobi and Bujumbura. I calculated that between this morning and my landing in Bujumbura on the 23rd, I will have taken 5 flights and been on 3 continents. It's a broken record.

I'm excited to be out of Aceh. At last, I can have something better than wine in a box. And I won't even need to hide ! I get to have a bit of FUN. (I spent the last 6 weeks claiming that in Aceh, they (don't ask who) took the UN out of FUN. You're welcome to figure out what the F stands for.

I also got a new referral : thank you AIDWORKERS.NET for blogrolling me ! (Although I wonder - does being a compliance pest for the humanitarian sector really make me an AID worker?)

Anyway, I dedicate this pointless post to all AID workers in the world. I see their work daily. Koudos to you guys. I know I pester you with rules and procedures, but I understand and hereby acknowledge the value of your work and the constraints you have to deal with.

I also dedicate this pointless post to all the national staff who strive to support the AID efforts. Without you, we would be nothing, and my life would be boring.

(Can you tell? I already miss Aceh, sincerely, I do.)

The Beaver

This post NOT to be interpreted as a sign that I am no longer depressed. It merely means I am still alive. IN FACT, I'M KINDA LONELY, PEOPLE! Drop me a line.... that'd be nice (except you - you know who you are.)

Earthquakes

We had an earthquake today. Nothing was destroyed to my knowledge, aside from my sense of equilibrium.

Very strange to fell the world shaking. It didn't trigger a tsunami on Banda though, so everyone is safe.

Life is SO weird sometimes.

The Beaver


My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

More pictures

I've uploaded a new set. Click on the picture to see them all.




The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

More about operating constraints in Aceh

I've been extremely busy with work. If you are wondering what's going on in Aceh, you can feast on this excellent article published by a friend of mine for a Montreal publication.

Most of it is in French but hopefully I will have time to translate it eventually.

(Quotes are in English though).

_____________________________________

Reconstruire apres le Tsunami – audela du reve, la triste realite

Travailler dans la province d’Aceh n’est pas une tache facile. Le 26 décembre 2004, un tremblement de terre de 9.2 a l’échelle de Richter a cause environ 128,790 décès, 37,063 disparitions et laissait un demi million d’Acehnais sans résidence. Les dommages structurels sont estimes à 4.5 milliards de dollars. 21 mois plus tard, malgré les efforts de reconstruction de la population locale et des expatriés, et un budget multilatéral de 525 million de dollars US, il beaucoup reste à faire. Le gouvernement indonésien estime les besoin à 120,000[1] logis. Les humanitaires ont jusqu'à Décembre 2007 pour atteindre cet objectif conjoint malgré les différentes contraintes rencontrées sur le terrain.

A la défense des ONG presentes à Aceh, le terrain n’est guère propice aux grandes entreprises de construction de par son histoire. Plus de 30 ans de conflits entre les rebelles du Gerakan Aceh Merdeka (GAM) et l’État Indonésien ont laisse Aceh dans un état de non-droit jusqu'à l’imposition de la loi martiale en 2003. Depuis le tsunami, un cessez-le-feu est en place et le processus de paix est enclenche, mais rien ne garantie la fin permanente des hostilités. Le développement de la region s’en est ressenti, et les chaînes d’approvisionnement limitées et affaiblies par le tsunami sont débordées par la demande soudaine de l’effort de reconstruction. De même, les organisations humanitaires et le gouvernement indonésien s’arrachent le personnel local qualifié, hélas insuffisant.

Depuis le cessez-le-feu, le contexte politique d’Aceh en 2006 ne facilite guère la tache aux humanitaires. Le pacte de paix entre le GAM et les autorités a permis l’adoption référendaire de la loi islamique le 15 août 2005. Le port du voile n’est plus réservé uniquement aux musulmanes pratiquantes. S’y soustraire, tout comme la possession et la consommation d’alcool, sont passibles de châtiment corporel, une mesure appliquée sans réserve. Ce qui décourage l’établissement a Aceh de personnel qualifié originaire des autres îles de l’archipel. Ce mouvement semble en debut d’expansion vers les expatriés selon les propos de Muntasir Hamid, chef de la législature provinciale a Banda Aceh, publies dans le Rakyat Aceh le 7 août dernier: “We did not want the Veranda of Mecca to be contaminated by the presence of NGOs in Banda Aceh as this territory is under the enforcement of Syariah Law. We will ask in this case, the Dinas of Syariah to do search/raid on houses that are occupied by NGOs especially during the evening”.

De plus, Transparency International classe l’Indonésie à 2.2/10 sur l’échelle de la corruption (0 représentant le taux de corruption absolue). A titre d’exemple, la mésaventure d’Oxfam-Australie dont plusieurs employés auraient détourné un montant équivalent a 22,000$US par l’entremise d’activités frauduleuses centrées sur le processus d’achat. Les conditions d’opérations sont propices a de telles combines: dans un communiqué de presse du 4 mai 2006, Oxfam rapportait que la supervision et le processus de suivi était insuffisants. Surtout, le roulement de personnel et la rareté de la main d’œuvre créent les conditions idéales d’une fraude classique. Pourtant, les processus de gestion d’Oxfam ne sont pas en cause – ce sont ces même processus qui ont permis l’identification du problème. Un rapport conjoint produit en juillet 2006 pour le Centre Ulstein et ses partenaires faisait état des risques inhérents au projet: « High-profile emergencies create particular corruption challenges, often with a large number of international relief agencies and corresponding difficulties with coordination and possibly competition between agencies.[2]»

De quoi donner du pain sur la planche aux humanitaires, la clé étant de bien déterminer ses priorités, comme le rappelle le Secrétaire General de l’Agence Indonésienne de Réhabilitation et de Reconstruction, Teuku Kamaruzzaman, en conférence de presse le 28 août dernier: "I ask all parties to focus on efforts being made to rebuild the region devastated by the December 2004 tsunami and to help those affected re-establish a normal life. At the same time, we must remain vigilant and highly critical with respect to irregularities and corruption."


[1] http://www.e-aceh-nias.org/
[2] Mapping the Risks of Corruption in Humanitarian Action, publie sur www.u4.no.

New pictures

I guess life goes on.

Boy... I think it's going on without me, but anyway.

Here are some pictures of the wonders of the world.

Click here to see the whole set of new pictures

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

This Time (Tracy Chapman)

This time
I won't show
I'm vulnerable
This time
I won't give in first

This time
I will hold out with my love
This time
I will not be hurt

I'm gonna love myself
More than anyone else
I'm gonna treat me right
I'm gonna make you say
That you love me first
And you'll be the one with the most to lose tonight
This time

This time
I won't let my emotions rule my life
This time
I'm gonna keep my heart locked safe inside
This time
I'm gonna be my own best friend
This time
I'm gonna be the one

To win
Your love
Your affection
To hide
My fear
Of rejection
This time
(c) Teddy Pendergrass

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

For the sake of updating

Just wanted to say i'm still alive. Those of you who have my email address are welcome to write to find out about the state i'm in.

I have pics and stuff to upload... eventually. For now, I'm not very inspired.

But at least, i'm alive. Sometimes, that's all you have to be thankful for.

The Beaver


My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Boys have Coodies

They try to be man but never succeed
They think they love you
But only love your love
Boys have coodies

They're proud to bear the seed
They freeze when you are true
Then screw you from above
Boys have coodies

They say you're what they need
Then one day eyes so blue
Remind remind him of the cove
Boys have coodies

The problem you must heed
Is that no matter what when who
You forget like a dove
That boys have coodies.

The Beaver


My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Beaver's 1st production !

My first movie ! Pictures and editing by yours truly !


The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Bilingue... Catch up !

Lundi, le 7 aout 2006, j'ai encore vecu un moment barbare. Quoique avec le decalage horaire, c'est beaucoup moins douloureux, m'enfin, debout a 3:30 AM pour prendre un vol, ouchie !

Monday, August 7, 2006, I lived a barbarian moment. Though with the jetlag, it was much less painful, but really, being up at 3:30 AM to take a flight, ouchie!

A Banda Aceh tôt le mardi matin, le muezzin me maintient éveillée. Des hordes de moustiques attendent que je sorte de la moustiquaire pour me vider de mon sang et m'injecter leurs cochonneries. J'ai la trouille de la dengue - je te dis que je dors sous mon moustiquaire, et avec mon anti-bibittes !!!

In Banda Aceh early Tuesday morning, the muezzin keeps me awake up. Hordes of mosquitos wait until I leave the mosquito net to empty me of my blood and to inject me their crap. I 's scared out of my wits of getting (again) the dengue - I tell you, I sleep under my mosquito net, and with my anti-sting!!!

Le lendemain, je quitte Banda car j'ai ete assignée à une mission en solo. Je pars pour Meulaboh (en helicoptere de l'ONU, encore) dans l'Aceh du Sud. Toute seule, cette fois-ci ! Ca m'inquiete et m'excite tout a la fois. Il parait que l'Internet marche bien las-bas. C'est une opportunite pour prendre des photos a vue d'oiseau par contre !

The next day, I left Banda because I have been assigned on a solo mission. I leave for Meulaboh (by helicopter of UNO, again) for South Aceh. All alone, this time! It worries me and excites me all the same time. It appears that the Internet works well there. It's an opportunity for some good skyshots though !

Je suis encore sur decallage horaire - je me leve avant le lever de soleil que j'observe du 2eme etage de la maison depassage. I am still on jetlag, so I wake up before the sunrise which I observe from the 2nd floor of the guesthouse.


Parfois, le Bon Dieu a des manières inattendues d'apaiser un coeur sensible. La beaute du monde est toujours un baume pour mon coeur. Sometimes, Good God has unexpected manners to alleviate a sensitive heart. The beauty of the world is always a balm for my heart.

Arrivee a Meulaboh, je ne suis pas tout a fait atterrie, mais l'est-on jamais? 2 jours a Jakarta, 3 jours a Banda, et maintenant une semaine a Meulaboh... Pas tres stable comme mode de vie...

Arrivee Meulaboh, I am not completely landed, but is one ever? 2 days Jakarta, 3 days in Banda, and now one week in Meulaboh... Not a very stable way of life...

Mais je trouve tranquillement des mecanismes d'adaptation. Je vis en ce moment dans une maison de passage ou les collegues sont tres sympatiques - 2 Philippins et un Croate particulierement me font un peu l'effet d'une famille quand je rentre le soir, apres un long 13 h de travail.... J'ai ete assignee a la verification d'inventaire, une HORREUR de tache qui va me prendre 2 semaines. Pour l'occasion, j'ai ete autorisee a engage 5 manoeuvres indonesiens, on m'a assigne un interprete et on a prolonge mon sejour a Meulaboh.

But I find adaptive mechanisms quickly. I live in this moment in a guesthouse where the colleagues are very pleasant - 2 Filipinos and a Croat particularly have a bit on me the effect of a family when I return there in the evening, after a lengthy 13 hour work-day hour.... I have been assignee to the checking of inventory, a HORROR of job which will take 2 weeks to me. For the occasion, I have been autorized to hire 5 indonesian laborers, an interpreter and my stay in Meulaboh is extended.

La verification d'inventaire ce n'est pas drole surtout dans la chaleur torride et humide de l'Indonesie. Heureusement, le personnel local est tres agreable, et surtout les manoeuvres sont aux anges de travailler avec une "Bulle" (prononce Boulee), rient beaucoup et ont souvent la simplicite de grands enfants. Grace a eux je fais des progres immenses en Bahasa - je sais maintenant compter jusqu'a 10 et formuler des demandes de bases (manger, dormir, se deplacer...)

Checking an inventory is not a fun gig, especially in the torrid and wet heat of Indonesia. Fortunately, the local personnel is very pleasant, and especially the laborers are elated to work with a "Bulle" (pronouncec Boolay), they laugh much and often have the simplicity of big kids. Thanks to them I make immense progress in Bahasa - I can now count until A 10 and formulate requests for bases (to eat, sleep, deplacer...)

C'est difficile de travailler ici. Sur l'echelle mondiale de la corruption (de 0 a 10, ou 10 presente l'absence totalle de corruptio), l'Indonesie est a 2.2. C'est dire que travailler ici est souvent synonime de paranoia... Oui, il fait chaud, oui, les choix culinaires sont limites... mais les couchers de soleils sont magnifiques...

It is difficult to work here. On the world scale of the corruption (of 0 A 10, or 10 represents the totalle absence of corruption), Indonesie is at 2.2. It is to say that to work here often rhymes with paranoia... Yes, the weather is hot, yes, the culinary choices are limiting... but the sunsets are splendid...

Pendant la semaine, je recoit des nouvelles un peu deprimantes. Je n'irai pas au Burundi, mais au Congo (ex-Zaire) a la place. Oh well. Je me depeche de faire les demarches necessaires pour un visa. En ce qui concerne Kinshasa, le changement etait motive par la possible embauche d'un nouvel employe - c'est mieux de commencer avec le Burundi plutot qu'avec la RDC.... Mais cette personne a change d'avis hier et je suis de nouveau assignee au Burundi. Ouf ! Les commentaires de 007 ne m'encourageaient pas a y aller... Toujours l'urgence d'obtenir un visa aupres d'embassade aux regles juridictionnelles strictes: je dois appliquer au Canada et non aux Etats-Unis...

During the week, I receive slightly depressing news. I will not go to Burundi, but in Congo (ex-Zaire) instead. Oh well. I hurry up to make the necessary arrangements for a visa. With regard to Kinshasa, the change was justified by the possible recruiting of a new employee - it's better to start with Burundi rather than with DRC.... But this person changed their opinion yesterday and I am again assigned to Burundi. Ouf! (With 007's feedback I must admit I wasn't too excited to go there...) Again the rush to obtain a visa with the embassy with strict jurisdictional rules: I must apply in Canada and not in the United States...

Ceux qui ont vu les nouvelles savent que maintenant il est interdit de prendre des baggages de cabines a la suite de l'incident de Londres. La joie. Faire ce travail devient de plus en plus difficile. Oh well. Je paierai les extras necessaires, c'est tout. Heureusement les consignes de securites semblent revenir presque a la normale. Heureusement, je ne voyage pas avec du Chanel No. 5 dans mon bagage a main ! Tant que je peux continuer d'utiliser les bagages a main, le reste ne me derange pas trop...

Those who saw the news know that now it is forbidden to take cabin luggages following the incident in London. Joy. To do this work becomes increasingly difficult. Oh well. I will pay extras if necessary, that's all. Fortunately the security regulations seem to return almost to normal. Fortunately, I do not travel with Chanel No 5 in my hand luggage! As long as I can continue to use hand luggage, I don't care much...

Il parait qu'il y a eu un tremblement de terre a Sumatra, mais nous ne l'avons meme pas senti ici. On a appris la nouvelle en meme temps que tout le monde, en ecoutant BBC.... De toutes facons, nous avons des mesures de securite pour ca, et je ne travaille ni ne dors au bord de la plage....

It appears that there was an earthquake on Sumatra, but nobody felt it here. We learned the news at the same time as everyone, on BBC.... Anyways, we have safety measures for that, and I do not work nor do I sleep at the edge of the beach....

D'ailleurs je devrais quitter Meulaboh pour quelques jours pour travailler a Medan (bien enfonce dans les terres) et retourner a Banda pour les 3 dernieres semaines de mon sejour. Il me reste au total 5 semaines a passer en Indonesie, dont 1 1/2 a Meulaboh, 1/2 a Medan, 4 a Banda Aceh et 1 a Jakarta. Je ne crains pas trop pour ma securite mais je suis prudente.

Moreover I should leave Meulaboh for a few days to work in Medan (well inserted inland) and return over to Banda for the 3 last weeks of my stay. I have a total of 5 weeks left in Indonesia, including 1 1/2 in Meulaboh, 1/2 in Medan, 4 in Banda Aceh and 1 in Jakarta. I do not fear too much for my safety but I am careful.

J'ai tout de meme pris le temps de gouter a la cuisine locale, qu'on appelle le Padang. Une orgie de plats auxquels on se sert... Apres le repas, on vous donne la douloureuse. C'est bon, le service et rapide et surtout, pas de probleme avec un menu qui est probablement en bahasa de toutes facon...

I did take the time to taste some local cuisine, which one calls Padang. An orgy of dishes to which one is expected to help themselves... After the meal, you are presented with the damage. It is good, the service is rapid and especially, there is no problem with a menu which would probably be in bahasa anyway...

On goute aussi au fruit qui pue: le DURIAN. Ouais, n'en parlons pas, du Durian, une HORREUR si vous voulez mon avis. J'ai essaye 2 fois, histoire de prouver aux Indonesiens et aux Philippins present que la blanchette n'etait pas pleutre... mais je le jure sur la tete de tous les gens que j'aime de ne jamais y etre reprise. M'enfin, au moins j'ai essaye...

One should also taste the stinky fruit: the DURIAN. Ouais, let us not speak about it, of Durian, a HORROR if you want my opinion. I tried it 2 times, just to prove the Indonesians and the Filipinos present that the whitey was no wuss... but I swear it on the head of all people whom I love never not to be taken again at this game... Well, at least I tried...

Hier j'ai ete au marche achete un peu de nourriture car nous avions un souper communautaire. Pour la premiere fois, j'ai ete dans un marche public ou on ne vous invective pas tous les 5 secondes. Les vendeurs etaient heureux de poser pour moi et j'ai prise quelques bonne photos dont celle-ci:

Yesterday I went to the Market to buy a little food because we had a Community supper. For the first time, I was in a public market where no-one jumps at you every 5 seconds. The salesmen were happy to pose for me so I took some good photographs, such as this one:

The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !

Pix !

Here, I've uploaded some pics of Indonesia:


Click HERE to see the full set.

I also uploaded pictures of a trip I made in July to Toronto:


Click HERE to see the full set.


The Beaver

My guest map is wonderful ! And you'd all be wonderful to post, all of you lurk mode readers!
Thanks and may the winds of Fate blow your way !